Clear Day on the West Highland Way – Scotland (2448 x 2448)

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History of that Era was interesting.

It’s where the phrase, “Knee high to a grasshopper” originates from.

Also the phrase, “Would ye care for a dram…” A dram is a thousandth of a gram of whisky. Some think this is where the Scottish penchant for being tight fisted bastards originates, but as is the want of history, it was a truth brought on by biological necessity.

The Midget War of 1527 I think the 15th uprising since the war had begun, saw the introduction of the kilt. With biology not everything scales down with midgets not everything was in the larger human proportions. The Scots had balls the size of snooker/pool balls. They came up with their first invention, the Jock Strap to try and keep the wedding tackle in place but it would just fall out and the strap would cut off blood supply. They learned something from that of course being the first people in the world to use elastration on sheep. The sheep’s balls would fall off and then voila, breakfast. Two sheeps balls for breakfast was called a Glen Nevis Oyster. The Aussies picked up on it in 1810 with their version of the bush oyster.

Anyhow, with the jock strap not working, it was just the Scottish way to let them drag on the ground. It made a man out of you. Those selected for battle had to be men of the highest and bravest order. At 13 yer ‘mam took off your underpants and you proudly went forth. If at 16 when the Clan chief dropped a 20lb (10 kg) slab on your goolies and you said, “Aye, hmmm, flies be out today” you’d be fighting in for the Clan as a man by the afternoon. Clan Captains were selected by their ability to traverse a field of thistles. Anyone who did that was legion amongst men. Of course, midget women weren’t discriminated against either, just you try. By taking a piss where your flaps are covered in purple thistles it’s no wonder there’s a reason you don’t mess with Scots midget women.

As for the origin of the bagpipes, well you don’t want to know what happened to your enemy’s femur and stomach.The bagpipe was initially a device to bake with warm human breath a portable lunch. Then one day, Haggis McCaneum….

I’m sure others have access to the Reddit Scots Midget Wars Almanac who can could give far more pertinent information than I.

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